Brian

Det. Joe now inspected the crime seen. " Ahh, an elastic band?" Fred burger was sweating and chipping away at his fingernails. " Who shot the rubber band?",questioned Det. Joe. Fred, slightly raising his hand. " Why did you shoot the elastic?" asked Det. Joe. " Was it to cause a distraction?" " No not at all." said Fred. " Or was it you, Alee Gatah?" said Det. Joe. " What? You are accusing me?" said Alee. " Well, you wanted it more than anyone" said Kathy. " Kathy is right, I also found your watch over by the case!" said Det. Joe. " Thank you, I have been looking for that" said Alee. "You might have turned off the lights so you could slip it right into your pocket!" explained Kathy. "Hold on one minute, you own a jewelry store that is going out of business, it really would attract more customers" said Det. Joe. " But I wouldn’t steal something just to get business" said Kathy. " But, Kathy I found a skinny strand of your hair right where the case was that holds the diamond" said Det. Joe. Joe then states, " So, if Kathy says that she didn’t do it it’s all up to you Gen. Seymour P. Ilostit IX MD, but surprisingly, I didn’t find evidence that shows you stole the diamond. Well on the other hand, you do own the diamond. So why would you take it?" " So it leaves it down to you three" states Det. Joe. "There is something fishy about the General having nothing to do with it," said Fred Burger. " I accuse the General!," said Fred Burger. " ME TOO! ME THREE!" said Kathy and Alee. "He just wanted to get more attention for the museum!", exclaimed Kathy, "and money", added Alee. Det. Joe asked the General if this was true. The General had to admit that it was true because he could be sent to Court or maybe even jail. Det. Joe told the General that "he would go to jail if he didn’t tell him where the diamond was". The General then admitted it was hidden in the museum basement. The General was told that he would have to pay a fine and the three heroes were given a reward!

From Ms. B. Brian, I love the dialogue you used in the first part of your ending. It is very convincing. Let's work together to indent whenever you change speakers.

From Julia: Brian, I really liked how Kathy, Fred, and Allee kept questioning the General!

From Chris:the begining was a little counfusing,but I really liked it! From James- I liked how you used your show don't tell especially the part when you said Fred, slightly raising his hand

Riley- Brian I really liked yours. I especially liked the show not tell you used for Fred slightly raised his hand.